The Image Consultant
by Kailael
Summary: The war is over and with help Severus decides to make some changes in his life. AU and non HBP compliant


The Image Consultant

Disclaimer: The Potter universe is the property of JK Rowling; I'm only playing with her creations. :)

Notes: This story was inspired by the makeover sex god snape challenge on potters place. Special thanks to my husband, and my dear friend who both helped me edit this story. I hope you all enjoy it.

* * *

The War was finally over. The Light side won, the Dark Lord was dead. Thanks to the timely revelation of the orders second spy in the Dark lords camp. The Order was able to easily defeat the dark army. Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape together arranged the time, the place and then stood with Harry when he faced Voldemort. Voldemort was struck down by a killing curse, decapitated by the sword of Gryffindor, then burned to ashes and thrown into the black lake at Hogwarts. Sadly the lake burial meant that people couldn't dance on his grave. 

Everyone was using the last two weeks of summer before school would be back in session to celebrate. Parties were happening all over wizarding Britain. There was a large party at order headquarters another at the Three Broomsticks but the orders two spies chose to celebrate on their own at the Hog's Head Inn, which was much more their style.

* * *

Lucius Malfoy reclined in his chair in the corner of the Inn sipping his scotch and eyeing his companion for the evening. Severus Snape appeared to be off in his own world as he nursed his second fire whiskey of the evening. Lucius shook his head as he set down his own glass. 

"Severus, old friend, care to share what's on your mind?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing, after all what's there to think about." He muttered dismissively.

"Come now Severus you wouldn't be so dismissive if it wasn't something important. Now tell me!"

Severus shook his head and looked back into his glass.

"Let me guess, it's either a woman, the fact that the wars over and you're not sure what to do with yourself, or a touch of both. Now tell me if I'm wrong, though I doubt I am." He remarked with a smirk.

"Mind your own business Lucius; it's not your concern." He hissed.

"So it's both, well what can we do to get you a woman." He pondered while tapping his fingers on the table.

"I'm not interested in your kind of help" he snapped.

"Oh Severus, it's not like I'm going to buy you a woman. What I meant by that was don't you think it's at least time you did something about yourself?"

"What ever do you mean Lucius?" His brow was raised and he was looking at Lucius like he'd grown a second head.

"Your appearance of course, you'll never catch a witch looking like walking death." He shuddered at the analogy.

"I do not look like walking death Lucius, not that it matters, even if I looked like you no witch would touch me." He sighed and tossed back the remaining contents of his glass. "Darkness stains the soul after all"

"Surely Severus you don't believe that, all it would take is a little work." Reaching into the inner pocket of his robes he withdrew a card and handed it to Severus.

Severus took the card and eyed it warily. "What is this?"

"Why Severus, I'd have assumed that would be obvious. It's the card for my personal image consultant and I will be highly offended if you don't at least make an appointment to consult with her."

Severus muttered and put the card in his pocket. "Fine Lucius, you win I'll make an appointment but I refuse to make any promises."

"That's all I ask old friend, besides once you're all fixed up we can work on catching you that witch."

Severus glared at his friend. "I can get my own Witch thank you very much." He got to his feet stumbling slightly. "Now if you'll excuse me, its time for me to leave." Drawing his cloak around him he swept out of the inn leaving Lucius staring at his wake.

* * *

Severus stood outside the office of Kalare and Morand Image Consultants in Diagon Alley. He just couldn't believe that he had actually made an appointment with an image consultant, much less shown up for it. Twenty years of not caring about his looks finally caught up to him and Lucius making the statement about his appearance was like the final nail in the coffin. It was time for Snape the greasy git to die and for Severus to emerge a new man. He drew a breath and opened the door and did his best not to shudder at the vision before his eyes. 

The room was pink. Not just any pink either, it wasn't pale pink, or fuchsia, it was "Hot bloody pink" the kind of pink that makes your head hurt when you see too much of it. The trim was mint green with glitter and the carpet was light blue with peach and mint green polka-dots. Then to top it all off, in the corner of the room was a large metal desk painted in purple. A young witch with blue hair sat there painting her nails. He shook his head and closed his eyes praying this was a nightmare that would soon end. Upon opening his eyes again he realized he truly was in hell.

"Do you have an appointment?" The blue haired witch asked, popping her bubble gum as she looked him up and down.

"Yes, a ten o'clock with Miss Kalare." he uttered with a grimace. "Please tell me you're not her?."

She checked her book and nodded. "Of course I'm not, I'm much better looking. Have a seat in the waiting area, Mr. Snape, and she'll be right with you."

He glanced around the room and noticed the lime green couch and orange chairs along the wall. He rubbed his temples fighting back a grimace as he took a seat in one of them. This whole room was like a garish recreation of a death eater's worst nightmare after a bout of torture. He swore to himself right there if Miss Kalare looked anything like this room he'd run screaming from the building and then make sure to torture his friend for his sick sense of humor. Azkaban would be nothing compared to this hellish room.

"Mr. Snape I presume?" a quiet voice asked from the now open doorway near the reception desk.

He looked up and a look of relief graced his face at the sight of Miss Kalare. She was a petite little blonde witch dressed in royal blue dress robes impeccably cut, she was the image of taste and he wondered how the hell she could own such a distasteful office.

"Yes, Ma'am" he replied getting to his feet.

"Oh please don't call me Ma'am, Jade or Miss Kalare will suffice. Well, come on in and we'll get down to business." She stepped back holding open the door as he stepped through.

He swept into the room and sighed with relief. The walls were beige, the desk was mahogany and there were two leather chairs sitting in front of the desk. He sank into a chair and waited for her to make the next move.

"Well Mr. Snape, what brings you to my office?"

"Professor or Severus if you will. Mr. Snape reminds me too much of my father. Well first off, Lucius Malfoy recommended you."

She nodded and smiled. "Ah yes Lucius, he's been a faithful client for years, a true joy to work with."

"Um yes, I imagine so. Secondly I'm tired of all the insinuations that I can't be anything other then the black bat of the dungeons."

She smiled brightly. "Well Severus if you'd like to change and shock everyone into silence I will be happy to work with you. Though I will tell you now if you agree to work with me, that what I say is final."

"As long as you keep the colors of your waiting room out of my wardrobe we have an accord Miss Kalare." He replied.

She laughed, "It is garish, my partner picked it and then charmed it so I can't remove it. The rents good so I stay here, otherwise I'd be out of here myself.

He quietly gave thanks that she hated it too.

She grinned and put a set of papers in front of him. "I just need you to sign these forms and then we can get started as soon as you're ready."

He reached forward and read through the forms. The standard liability clauses with advertisement clauses along with responsibility of payment statements greeted him. The fees weren't too bad. 100 galleons to start and 200 more due upon completion of the process. He signed his name and then tapped his wand to the sheet to authorize the payments withdrawal from his Gringott's vault.

She scooped up the papers and with a swish of her wand filed them away. She then held out a black ribbon. "All right Severus lets get started. We'll be heading to Wizards Elite Day spa for starters, so just take a hold of this port key and we'll be on our way."

He reached out and took a hold of the ribbon. The tugging sensation behind his navel let him know it had activated and then they were flying off to their destination.

* * *

Upon their arrival at the day spa he was promptly hauled into a private room by two wizards. There he was stripped completely and pushed into a large swimming pool sized tub, where he was scrubbed from head to toe with various soaps and shampoo.Once the scrubbing was done he was left to soak for about thirty minutes while they made arrangements with his consultant for various treatments. 

As soon as his thirty minutes were up he was guided from the tub, dried off and put into a dressing gown. He was then led out to another room where Jade and another witch were waiting. He slipped into the chair at their indication and tried to regain his bearings.

"Now Severus, we're going to cut and style your hair, so feel free to close your eyes and relax, this may take a while."

He nodded and sat back, the stylist spun his chair so he couldn't see what she was doing and set to work. With scissors, clippers and a hint of wand work and within an hour his hair was cut and styled.

Miss Kalare grinned wickedly. "Well Severus, are you ready to see the new you?"

He shifted in his seat nervously. "As ready as I can be I suppose."

The chair turned and he opened his eyes his jaw falling open in shock. There in the mirror was a man he had to struggle to recognize. His shoulder length hair was now only a couple inches in length and styled well. The new cut looked amazing and left him wondering what would be next.

"Now Severus we have a fitting down the hall with a tailor to change up your wardrobe a bit, then after that we have an appointment with a mediwitch about your teeth. We'll be busy, busy, busy. "

He managed not to scowl as he was led from the stylist to his fitting. He managed to not hex the mediwitch who was fixing his teeth. All in all the day wasn't as horrendous as he first imagined but then again the day wasn't over yet.

* * *

Hours later after all was said and done, he had a new haircut, whitened and straightened teeth, a healthier complexion, a new wardrobe with color, and was dressed to the nines in black slacks, a royal blue cashmere pullover sweater, and form fitting black over robes. Lucius' consultant was a blessing and he felt like a new man, hell he was a new man. He pulled out his pocket watch and noted the time. He chuckled to himself before apparating to the gates of Hogwarts, it was time for dinner and he had some people to surprise. 

Dinner was in full swing by the time he reached the great hall. It was the last week of summer and all the teaching staff had finally arrived to lock down their lesson plans and get to know each other. He straightened his sweater and ran his fingers through his hair nervously before pushing open the doors and striding in like he commanded an audience.

All conversation in the great hall stopped at the sight of him. Everyone was in pure utter shock. Black slacks, blue sweater, form fitting robes, short hair, was this the same potions master who billowed around the castle? They couldn't be sure; all they knew is whoever this was made an impression. All the female staff members eyes were locked on him, especially the newest addition, Ancient runes teacher Professor Hermione Granger.

He proceeded to his seat and began to dish up his dinner, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. He sipped his coffee and ate his chicken while ignoring his colleagues. Inwardly chuckling over how a few changes could make them all speechless, and cheering that Hermione appeared to be nearly drooling.

"Professor Snape?" a quiet voice to his left asked.

"Yes Professor Granger, what can I do for you?"

"Um, I was just wondering if you had all your lesson plans in order?"

"Actually not yet I still need to finalize my seventh year curriculum." He sipped his coffee and smirked. "And you Professor Granger, are your lessons all in order?"

"Yes, actually they are. Would you like some help with yours?"

"Mm Company would not be remiss, feel free to join me if you like, now if you'll excuse me."

He pushed back his chair, rose to his feet and swept out of the room leaving everyone in shock.

Minerva leaned over towards Hermione and whispered. "Did he just say he wouldn't mind your company?"

"Yes Minerva, I do believe he did."

Hermione grinned and tucked back in to her dinner with relish, looking forward to an evening with the new and improved Severus Snape.

* * *

Severus swept down to the dungeons, entered his office and casually tossed the new robe over the back of the nearest chair. He took a look around then set to work on the seventh year curriculum. 

The floo flashed green and Lucius Malfoy's head appeared.

"Severus are you there?"

He got up and stepped near the floo.

"What can I do for you Lucius?"

"I just wanted to know how your appointment went, can I come through?"

"Of course, just watch your head the mantles a bit low."

Lucius stepped through the floo and dusted himself off.

"You need to get the elves to clean out your fireplace."

"I'll take that under advisement Lucius, now can you cut to the chase?"

Lucius took a turn around Severus taking in the clothes, the teeth, hair and skin. Jade had done a fabulous job that was undisputed, he'd have to make sure to compliment her extra next time he saw her.

"So Severus, picked your girl yet?"

"Not that it's any of your concern but I'm expecting company shortly so it's probably best that you leave before she gets here."

Lucius clasped his chest. "Oh Severus you wound me, not even a hint for your old friend."

Severus arched an eyebrow at Lucius. "Since when do I ever give hints?"

There was a knock at the door and Severus whirled around.

"Just a second" he called out as he turned back to Lucius.

"Lucius I suggest you leave now, we'll talk later."

"Fine, I'll leave you to your diversion; just don't do anything I wouldn't do."

With a smirk Lucius threw down a pinch of floo powder and vanished back to Malfoy Manor.

"Enter!" he snapped as he quickly took his seat.

Hermione strolled into the room, and eyed him warily.

"Well Professor, I see not all things have changed." She quipped.

"More things have changed then you could ever guess Miss Granger." He replied silkily.

"Hermione please, we are colleagues after all."

"Ok Hermione, please call me Severus."

"Mmm Severus, I like the sound of that." She smiled as she eyed him like he was dessert.

He swallowed hard as he tried to sit up a bit straighter to hide his nervousness. "Well I'm just about done with the seventh year curriculum so if you have some where else to be don't let me detain you."

"Well I'm glad to hear you're just about done because helping you wasn't my sole motivation for volunteering."

"It wasn't?"

She slinked over to his chair and straddled his lap, cupping his face in her hands.

"Of course not Severus, I've had my eye on you since I graduated and now with this change I realized I needed to do something about my feelings before someone snatched you away from me."

Before he could do anything other than gape at that statement her lips were on his and her tongue slipped into his mouth. Reflexively his arms wrapped around her and pulled her tight to his chest kissing her back caressing her tongue with his own. Reluctantly breaking the kiss he nudged her back and looked into her eyes.

"Is something wrong Severus?"

"No, nothings wrong at all, just needed to look at you so I'd know I wasn't imagining this."

"No you're definitely not imagining me, would you have dinner with me tomorrow night?" Her tone was hopeful and full of promise.

"Where?"

"My chambers, I'll even cook"

She got up and straightened her skirt while smiling at him. "Six o'clock at the painting of the fairy queen." She headed to the door and called back over her shoulder. "Don't be late."

He chuckled as he turned back to his work. He'd be there all right, nothing but the Dark Lord could stop him and hell what do you know, the Dark Lord's dead.

* * *

It was a quarter till six when Hermione heard the knock at her door. Tossing down her potholders and straightening her dress she walked to the portrait and opened it. 

"Well hello Severus, do come in."

He swept in, and took in the rooms contents in a sweeping glance. The room was done nicely: cream colored floors, light wood paneling, and comfortable furniture. He inclined his head as she led him towards a table set for two and took his seat without a word.

She scurried back to her cooking, and within minutes was levitating a serving tray out to the table following behind it with two wine glasses.

"Would you like some wine?"

"Yes that would be fine." He murmured silkily. He rose to his feet and pulled out her chair for her. "I must say Hermione I'm rather surprised that you invited me."

She took her seat after pouring the wine. "Why? Is it so shocking to think that I'd seek your company?"

"Frankly, yes it is."

He returned to his seat and locked eyes with her. "You put me out of my element by asking, I now no longer know what to expect."

Her sweet smile was replaced with a wicked grin. "Why Severus, you should expect the unexpected."

His eyebrow rose at this. "Apparently, so what is on the menu for this evening or do I have to guess?"

"Oh just a: simple salad, light shrimp pasta and a chocolate mousse for dessert. Nothing to heavy or rich." she murmured, the last part between sips of wine.

They set about their meal, talking of potions and runes. They discussed the absurdity of divination over dessert. The meal ended, the dishes were cleared and they both retired to the sofa by the fire sipping their wine and discussing other aspects of academia.

She scooted closer to him and pressed her lips to his cheek. Kissing across his cheek and up towards his ear. "Severus?"

He gasped softly as her lips nibbled his ear. "Yes Hermione?"

She licked the rim of his ear before kissing down his neck. "Mm I'm dying to know what ever possessed you to get a makeover."

He slipped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap, feigning irritation. "Lucius Malfoy, if you must know."

She grinned as she looked him straight in the eye. She leaned forward until her lips were mere millimeters from his and whispered. "Remind me to thank him." Then her lips were on his and they were lost to the world.

* * *

A week later at the consulting office; Lucius and Jade were sitting in her private office with a window view of the street sipping champagne and watching people go by. Having spotted Severus and Hermione walking side by side down the street chatting amiably they couldn't help but discuss their success. 

"Do you ever think Severus will realize that you planned all this?" Jade asked.

"My dear, by the time he figures out that I paid your real fees and covered his treatments at the day spa and the services of that tailor you ordered, he'll most likely be married."

"So you did this out of the goodness of your heart? Somehow I find that hard to believe Lucius."

"Ah my dear you know me so well." He smirked. "You know as well as I do that a Malfoy never does something for nothing, and I'm just biding my time until I can claim my payment."

"Oh you evil man you! By the way I ordered you an Acromantula silk shirt, it should arrive next week."

"Thank you my dear that is after all what I pay you for. Now where were we?"

"Plotting your rise to power as I recall."

"Ah yes, that we were.

THE END.


End file.
